A parenting style is a psychological construct representing standard
strategies that parents use in their child rearing. There are many
differing theories and opinions on the best ways to rear children, as
well as differing levels of time and effort that parents are willing to
There are many ways in which you can be a good father in particular.
1. Have fun. Fatherhood is a big responsibility but it is also a lot of
fun. Show your kids that you enjoy being their father.
2. Spend time with and take responsibility for your children. Some
fathers miss opportunities to spend time with their kids because they
have competing responsibilities or interests. However, once the
opportunity has passed, it's gone and you can't get it back. If you
don't establish an intimacy with your children when they're young, it'll
be difficult to catch up when they're older and still need your help and
3. Be a teacher by both word and example. Children need to be taught
right from wrong and will need to see it demonstrated by their father.
Make decisions in front of them and explain to them why you came to that
resolution. Talk to them about choices you made in the past and why they
did (or didn't) work out. Evaluate all of your own decisions by
thinking: "What would I want my child to do in this situation?" Teach
your children that it is okay to make mistakes. Everyone makes them. You
do and they will too. The important thing is to learn from your mistakes
and try to avoid making the same mistakes over and over again.
4. Show affection. Some men may be uncomfortable with offering their
children affection and communicating their love. Being affectionate with
your child shows them that you love them. It also teaches them to show
affection to others.
5. Respect your children's mother. Mutual respect between a child's
parents is important whether or not the parents are married to one
another. Children will mimic their parents' behavior. How you treat your
child's mother will influence the way in which the child will view his
or her own role when they become parents. Do not be afraid to stand up
for your own views as a parent. They are equally as important and
valuable as those of the child's mother who may or may not spend more
time with the child. Make parenting a partnership, be on the same page
about how to discipline and reward your child and be consistent.
6. Don't Place Unreasonable Expectations on Your Children. A child's
life can be filled with pressures, from siblings to kids at school to
teachers to coaches. Help your child understand their desires and assess
their capabilities and limitations. Help them set achievable goals.
Encourage them to meet their full potential but avoid living vicariously
through them by expecting them to achieve what you had achieved or hoped
to have achieved.
7. Don't Place Unreasonable Expectations on Yourself. You are an
important person in your child's development but many other people and
things will influence their development and growth. Just as you can't
take credit for all of your child's strengths you also shouldn't
shoulder the blame for their weaknesses.
8. Realize that a father's job is never done. Do not assume that once
your children turn 21, or they have a college degree, that your work
raising them is done. Although it is important to encourage your
children to become financially and emotionally independent, it is also
important to let them know that you care and are always there for them
and that they are valued.
• The goal in disciplining your child is to show them that their
behavior is inappropriate and unacceptable. The use of force is seldom,
if ever, necessary to achieve that goal, regardless of the child's age.
Often, other approaches, such as depriving the child of something they
value, can prove more effective over time, while preserving the child's
self esteem and the child's respect for you as a parent. Teaching a
child right from wrong is a process. Methods of discipline that appear
to achieve short-term results may have unintended negative consequences
over the long run.
• The most common request from daughters about fathers that they would
listen to them and understand as best they can before making decisions.
• Be patient on everything that you do for your kids.